Been There All Along
by butt0n0nt0p
Summary: After an awkward moment in the dorm one night, Sirius and Remus friendship begins to change - but is that really where it all began? And where will it take them? Rated M for future slash, smut, language, etc...
1. The Dream

The Dream

"Shit." A disgruntled whisper came from the first bed in the 6th Year Gryffindor Boys' Dormitory. Remus Lupin groaned quietly to himself as he sat in hot, sticky sheets – and not from sweat. The remnants of the dream were now slowly ebbing away but the young werewolf had an idea in the back of his mind exactly who the person who made his dream _this kind_ of dream was. He refused to let it surface, however, and concentrated on sorting this mess out. He crumpled his sheets together in his hands and attempted to sneak into the bathroom without waking up any of his sleeping companions. He crossed the small but cosy room and thought he was going to make it when – _creeeeaaaak _– he forgot the creaky floorboard by the door. He stayed still for a moment, hoping he hadn't woken anybody up, but then,

"Remus?" he heard a sleepy voice mutter from Sirius' bed, and when he turned he could see his sleepy face peering out at him through a gap in the curtains. "What are you doing?"

The werewolf reddened and decided not to answer him, ducking into the bathroom and hoping his friend would go back to sleep and think it was a dream. He threw his sheets in the laundry basket and started the shower, ridding himself of his dirty boxers as he did so – they also ended up in the basket with his sheets. He was just about to step in when there was a knock at the door.

"Shit." Remus said for the second time that night; it was unusual for him to swear. He wrapped a towel around himself and made his way to the door, making a small sound of disgust as he glanced his scarred chest in the mirror. He opened the door.

"You all right, Moony?" Sirius looked more awake now, a small smile on his lips.

"Yes," Remus sighed, sure that Sirius was laughing at him.

"You don't _look_ all right," Sirius smirked; he lifted a hand to touch the werewolf's cheek. "You're all red."

Remus shivered at the warm touch on his cold skin.

"I'm fine, just having a shower Padfoot. Go back to sleep."

"Did Moony wet the bed?" Sirius chuckled, and despite his annoyance Remus couldn't help admire the beauty of that sound.

"Seriously?" Remus muttered, raising an eyebrow at his friends' immaturity.

"All right, have a nice shower, Moony." Sirius made to turn around. "Unless, of course you want me to join you?"

Despite being constantly bombarded by Sirius' teasing, the gullible young man still almost took this seriously – not that he would have said yes, or anything – but he hesitated, causing peals of laughter to emanate from his handsome friend.

"See you in the morning," Sirius said with a wink, and traipsed back to his bed as Remus shut the door. He lent his back against it and sunk to the floor as the small, admittedly embarrassing encounter, had left no doubt in his mind as to who starred in the dream that had got him in to this awkward situation in the first place.

****

Remus woke up for the second time that morning when the alarm went off at 7am. As usual, he was the only one who actually woke up to it. Normally he would turn it off and wake up each of his friends in turn, but he wasn't in the mood today. He quickly dressed and headed down to breakfast, leaving the clock blaring at his oblivious friends.

He took a seat next to Lily Evans at the dinner table and gave her a nod in greeting. He took some toast and nibbled at it absent-mindedly as he tried not to think about last nights' events.

"What's up, Remus?" Lily asked, after watching him chewing the toast for at least five minutes without making much progress into actually finishing it.

"Huh?" Remus started. "Oh, nothing. Nothing."

"Don't give me that," Lily said with a friendly smile. "Where's your gang anyway?"

"They slept in."

"Don't you normally drag their sorry arses out of bed?"

"Yep, that's me, the responsible one." Remus said, slight irritation in his tone. Lily didn't push it any further.

"If you need to talk, you can talk to me anytime Remus."

He smiled at her, "I know that. Thanks."

About half an hour later, with 15 minutes of breakfast to spare, the remaining three marauders rushed into the Great Hall, tripping over themselves. They spotted their fourth counterpart and plonked themselves on the bench next to him.

"Nice of you to join me," he said.

"Nice of you to wake us up," James grumbled as he did up his shoelaces, glasses askew.

"Oops must have slipped my mind." His eyes caught Sirius' then as a wicked grin spread across the other boys' face.

"Yeah," Sirius began and Remus knew what was coming. "Your thoughts must have been too engrossed in those _wonderful dreams_ you were having."

Remus had stood up in the middle of his sentence and by the time he finished it he was storming out of the Great Hall, towards their first class of the day – Charms.

"What was that all about?" Peter chimed in.

"Oh, nothing," Sirius said, his eyes still attached to the doorway that his friend had disappeared from his view moments earlier.


	2. Apologies

Apologies

As the remaining marauders made their way to Charms, Sirius excused himself into the bathroom and told them "I'll catch up."

"You'll be late," Peter warned.

"I'll be fine," Sirius replied, flashing him a winning smile. "Flitwick _loves_ me!"

With that he ducked into the bathroom while his two friends hurried off.

He looked at himself in the mirror as his mind ran over the events of last night and this morning.

_God_, he thought, _why do I have to be so tactless? So insensitive?_

He hadn't meant to hurt Remus' feelings this morning, though he admitted he should have known not to mention it. His friend had looked very embarrassed last night – but there was something else there too. To anyone else it would have just looked like a whole load of embarrassment about being caught sneaking sticky sheets into the laundry, but Sirius knew Remus too well. There was something else that he wanted to hide – whether it was to do with his dream or something else entirely, Sirius didn't know, but there was definitely something else there.

He splashed water on his face and groaned to himself. He hoped Remus wouldn't be too annoyed with him, partly because he wanted to get to the bottom of this mystery, but mostly because he cherished Remus' friendship. He needed the other boy to keep him in check – to stop him taking the biggest risks, to stop him playing the stupidest pranks, to stop his words coming out too harsh. Sirius had always had a tendency to snap out words he didn't mean, a result of his upbringing no doubt, but he always seemed calmer around Remus. Unfortunately when he did snap or say something nasty, like this morning, it was often aimed at Remus despite him being the best person to have around to control it.

Remus knew this, though, Remus would understand. _I hope_.

With that thought, he too made his way to class, knowing he would make it up to Remus somehow.

****

As expected, he only earned a raised eyebrow from the half-goblin professor as he entered the room a full 10 minutes late and took his seat next to his favourite werewolf.

"Hey, Moony," he chimed in a whisper. Remus glanced at him – he didn't look angry. There was concealed hurt in his eyes but as usual Sirius could read him like a book, ironic considering Remus was the most bookish marauder.

"Hey, Padfoot," he replied monotonously and then turned his attention back to the lesson.

"Hey, I'm sorry Remus," Sirius whispered, not giving up. Remus didn't give any signs that he'd heard the apology, though the newly acquired pale pink colour in his cheeks showed Sirius he had. "Really," he emphasised. Remus still didn't reply.

"Hey, you know how I get, sometimes," Sirius whined, putting his head on his friends' shoulder and looking up at him with puppy-dog eyes. Remus looked down and couldn't stop his lips from turning up slightly at the corners at his friends' pathetic, and adorable, expression. His face returned to a frown as he realised he'd just thought of his friend as _adorable_.

"I know," said Remus, his tone soft.

"Love ya Moons," Sirius said in a quiet sing-song voice.

Remus shrugged him off, "Don't call me that, Sirius." He only sounded slightly irritated, though, and Sirius knew he was forgiven.

_No-one can resist the Black charm_, he thought, feeling it best not to say that to Remus just yet – it was a bit early after their latest squabble.


	3. Talking

Talking

Remus ran his hands through his hair for the twenty-third time that evening.

"Everything all right Moony?" Prongs asked, his eyes looked concerned behind his large, round spectacles.

"Fine, it's just getting close to the next moon, that's all," Remus smiled at him reassuringly, and then looked back at his book.

It was a Friday evening and the marauders were relaxing in their dormitory, all except one. Remus was trying to study to take his mind off the fact that he had dreamt about Sirius nearly every evening that week, though none had quite the same effect that the first one four days ago. They had, however, involved many curious events involving him and the animagus.

Sirius and he hugging – nothing unusual, the marauders were very close.

Sirius and he holding hands – a little more unusual, and Remus was knew Sirius noticed his overdramatic flinching whenever their skin came into contact.

Sirius and he, yes he had to admit it, _kissing_ – and he _knew_ Sirius had noticed him watching his mouth as he spoke. He couldn't help it, and Sirius really did have a lovely mouth. Well, at least dream-Sirius hadn't repeated what he did with that mouth last Monday night. Remus shuddered, though he wasn't sure the exact reason – disgust or delight? He shook his head, _what am I going to do?_ He thought miserably. _I can't have a crush on Sirius, can I? Not on my best friend? Not on a boy? Are the Gods so evil as to create a gay werewolf with a crush on his best friend?_

Sirius meant so much to him, even if he admitted he had feelings for him, he would have to keep them secret. Or at least confide in someone who was safe – someone who wouldn't blab and someone who wouldn't judge. He looked at his two friends. James was like Sirius' brother – plus Remus doubted he'd be totally accepting about having him in the dorm with them if he found out he was... Remus couldn't think the word, not yet. He turned his attention to Wormtail, who was absent-mindedly playing a game of Wizard's Chess against himself. He smiled as he imagined the reaction he would get out of Peter if he told him he fancied boys – the youngest Marauder was the slowest to overcome his fear of Remus when they figured out what he was. Even now, he was prone to scurrying away during particularly vicious transformations.

"_If you need to talk, you can talk to me anytime Remus."_

Lily! Of course she wouldn't judge him, with that he stood up and made to go downstairs to the common room where he was sure he'd find the redhead studying. He was in such haste that he barged right into Sirius.

"Whoa, what's the rush Moony?" the brunette grinned at him. The animagus' cheeks were flushed, his lips swollen and the first few buttons on his shirt were undone.

"Er," Remus hesitated as unexpectedly hurtful images of what Sirius had been up to ran through his mind.

"Hey Pads," greeted James. "What have _you_ been up to?"

"Oh, nothing much. The usual..." Sirius made to continue and Remus ducked around him and made his way down the stairs hurriedly; he really didn't want to hear the rest of that conversation. He had never been particularly interested in Sirius' stories, though James and Peter hung off every word, but now he had no desire at all to even be in the room with his friend while he told the others of his most recent escapade.

His eyes scanned the common room when he reached the bottom of the staircase and they found Lily Evans sitting alone in a corner, working on an essay of some sort. He made his way over to her and sat down.

She didn't look up at first, "James, I've told you a million – oh, Remus. Sorry." She blushed. "It's just that _Potter_'_s_ been stalking me all day."

Remus just smiled at her, unconvinced by her bitter tone – and just catching the note of disappointment that it was in fact, not James, but himself. "You know what you said about talking to you... Well I need to talk to you."

"Oh right, is this about ... what you were upset about on Tuesday morning?"

"Yeah," he said, glad he didn't have to repeat it himself.

"Well, go ahead," she smiled, closing her books and focusing all her attention on him.

"Well, the reason I was ... upset ... was that I kind of had an ... unusual dream, Monday night."

"OK, what was it about?"

Remus grimaced.

"Oh, one of _those_ kinds of dreams," she said, knowingly though she didn't look disgusted or embarrassed and just encouraged Remus to continue. He was glad he'd chosen her, she really was easy to talk to. "What was unusual about it?"

"Well, it was about ... a boy."

She raised her eyebrows in surprise, but quickly covered it up. "That's not unusual, Remus. Lots of people are, um, curious."

"But I'm not. At least, I wasn't. Until now..." He looked away, then, his cheeks reddening.

Lily was quiet for a few moments, then, "Do you know the boy in your dream. Was he familiar?"

Remus snorted, "You could say that." He replied with obvious sarcasm.

"Is it one of your friends?"

Nod.

"One of your _close_ friends?"

Nod.

"It's not _James_, is it?" she asked, unable to completely hide the slight defence in her tone.

"No! _No._ Not James."

"Not James," she repeated. "Then it's Sirius."

He started, surprised she had figured him out so quickly. No-one could read him that well except... Except Sirius. If she figured it out this fast then surely his friend would have some idea.

"Is it that obvious?" Remus asked with another grimace.

"No, not really. Especially not to _your_ group of friends. They have the observational skills of a stone."

Remus chuckled, somewhat relieved.

"So, why are you telling me now? There must be a reason why it's still bothering you four days later..." she hedged.

"Well, yes. I... I've had more dreams – not like _that_," he added quickly, blushing again. "But... it's not just the dreams. I've had ... _feelings_, too. Do you think it means I might be...?"

"Gay?"

Remus reddened at the word and averted his eyes.

"This can't be happening to me. Even if it was_ normal _... Why Sirius?"

"It _is_ normal, Remus," she put a comforting hand on his knee. "But, yes I agree having a man-crush on your straight best friend is a little complicated."

Remus smiled at the ridiculousness of his predicament.

"I think you would make a cute couple though," she added, her eyebrows raising slightly as she was obviously picturing it – which made Remus picture it too.

"_Lily_," he complained.

"Sorry. I don't know what you can do about it. It might just blow over – but if it doesn't you'll have to tell him-"

"No."

"Remus, if you don't then-"

"Then I can pretend I'm just his friend with just friendly feelings for him and he doesn't have to know. And neither do James or Peter. Promise me you won't say anything."

"Of course I wouldn't tell a soul Remus. I don't think it's a good idea to keep your feelings in, what if they all come out in one big explosion?"

Remus imagined what type of _explosion_ could occur that would show Sirius his feelings and he felt his lower body stir in response.

"What kinds of feelings are they, Remus? Purely sexual, or something more?"

Remus thought for a moment before answering truthfully, "I honestly don't know."


	4. Tension

Tension

It was a late Saturday afternoon and the common room was surprisingly empty. All four marauders sat around the fireplace and Lily Evans, much to Sirius' disgruntlement, had joined them. She sat studying with Remus, the two whispering together and occasionally flashing looks at him, where he sat lolling on the floor. They obviously didn't realise he had noticed and wondered whether their topic of conversation had anything to do with the mystery that was last Monday night. Sirius still hadn't made any headway, though plenty more clues were arising, such as the strange looks that he always caught Remus aiming at him when his back was turned, and how quickly he would look away when he saw Sirius noticed said looks. Plus, Remus seemed more interested in his stories of sexual endeavours, though not in a positive way. Normally the young werewolf would give no sign he was listening, or just politely congratulate him before changing the subject, but never before had he shown signs that it _bothered _him. At least, not until this last week.

"Prongs, can we do something?"

"Kinda busy Pads," said James, without looking up from his and Peter's game of chess. "Haven't you already got a date tonight anyway?

"Yeah," Sirius sighed. He wasn't really looking forward to his date with Lucy tonight. He could tell that tonight she wanted to go all the way – despite their fling only lasting a couple of days and he was quite frankly bored by her eagerness. He usually liked a challenge. At least, he thought that was the reason behind his disinterest. He flicked his gaze towards his lycanthropic gaze, and revelled in the fact that his eyes were on him and not on the book that Lily was studying so intently. Remus averted his gaze, but not before Sirius saw the flicker of emotion in them.

_What was that? Hurt? But why?_

"Moony will you do something with me?"

Remus looked up again, acting as if he hadn't been staring at Sirius moments previously, but didn't answer right away.

"We're studying," said Lily, snapping her head up and narrowing her eyes at Sirius.

"Since when did Evans become your girlfriend, Moony?" Sirius tried to say it in a mocking tone, but it came out all defensive and _jealous?_ This thought was wiped from Sirius mind as he received a good kick up the backside from James, who then looked up at Remus and Lily with obvious fear that the remark had some truth in it.

Remus face looked horrified at the accusation and Lily just rolled her eyes at Sirius and returned to her work. James seemed reassured and also returned to his previous activity, not before he cast a resentful look at Sirius, however.

Sirius ignored him, and turned his gaze back to Remus, who was still looking at him.

"Well, Moony, you gonna come have some Sirius fun?"

Remus opened his mouth but it was a few seconds before he could form any words. "Erm, no, I have to finish this, really," he said reluctantly.

Sirius tried not to sound offended and brushed off Remus' rejection with a jokey, "Never took you for a ladies' man Moony. Always thought you were a poof, myself."

James and Peter sniggered – but quickly stopped when they saw the expression on Remus' face. It contained a heartbreaking combination of biting rage and intense pain. Sirius was oblivious to this however as he'd turned his gaze to the fire as soon as his sentence had finished.

You could cut the tension in the air with a _Diffindo_ and Lily, Peter and James looked on anxiously as Remus got to his feet.

"_Don't call me that."_ Remus' tone had never been so venomous and Sirius turned round in surprise.

"What... Moony?" Sirius didn't realise how cutting the remark was until he saw his red-faced friend close to tears. Remus quickly turned and rushed up the stairs to the dormitories. Sirius scrambled to his feet with the intention to follow but was blocked immediately by a stony-face Lily Evans. "Move, Evans." He attempted to step aside but she mimicked his movements and drew out her wand.

Her tone was thick with the warning it contained as she said, "_I'll go._"

"Since when did you and Remus become so close?" Sirius said, without the angry tone he meant. Instead it came out in the same jealous tone he had involuntarily used before.

Lily saw the guilt in Sirius' face and knew that he'd realised he'd done wrong. She placed a hand on his shoulder, "I just think he might not be ready to see you, just yet."

Instead of being comforted, Sirius anger heightened at her patronising tone, but he knew she was right and mentally kicked himself for being such a twat, _again._

"Fine, you win." He spat bitterly, and turned on his heel as he headed out of the portrait hole for his date with Lucy.

****

"Oh, _Sirius_," Lucy moaned as he pushed into her. At least she was enjoying herself.

_That makes one of us._ Sirius grumbled to himself. He didn't really find her that attractive anymore, he wondered what had changed since he'd set his sights on her, and knew the only thing that kept him hard was the friction he was receiving and nothing to do with the soft curves his hands were automatically attending to while his brain was elsewhere. His thoughts ran over the evenings' events and eventually travelled back over the entire week. He still hadn't got to the bottom of the Remus mystery, which was getting more and more mysterious, he thought, as he was reminded of those little looks Remus had been shooting at him all week.

"Oh!" A loud, surprised grunt rose in his throat as his orgasm was unexpectedly ripped from him. Lucy didn't seem to notice, however, as she seemed to have reached her climax too, and he continued to thrust as they both rode out their own respective release.

"Wow, Sirius, that was..." Lucy trailed off after she had recovered enough to speak.

"Yeah," Sirius sort-of agreed in a bored tone. "Well I'd better get back – got an essay due in on Monday and don't have any time tomorrow." This wasn't a lie, but Sirius had no intention of actually completing it. He let himself out of the broom cupboard without as much as a word of goodbye or even a glance backwards.

"Call me sometime, Siri!" she called shrilly after him.

"Yeah," he said loud enough for her to hear. "Whatever." He added in a quieter tone.

Everyone was asleep when he entered the dormitory. Soft snored were emitting from both Peter and James' beds. The bed next to his own was ominously silent.

"Moony?" he whispered, but there was no reply.

He crawled into bed and relayed what had just happened in the cupboard. Had he really just come thinking of _Remus_? It seemed so.

_What the...?_ Were his last thoughts before he drifted into a peaceful slumber.


	5. Friendship

Friendship

Remus did his best to avoid Sirius for the best part of Sunday. Unfortunately this meant he was alone for most of the day as James had taken Peter and Sirius Lily-hunting and so he couldn't spend his day with the redhead either. He spent most of his day in the dormitory, reading, doing some homework, the usual – trying to keep his mind off Sirius mainly.

As Sirius had, unbeknownst to Remus, suspected, Remus _had _been awake when Sirius came into the dormitory after his date. Remus could practically smell the scent of sex off him and his heart had shrivelled with jealousy and hurt. Last night he had fully admitted his feelings to himself. He wasn't sure about gay, straight, or bi – but he did know that he had strong feelings for Sirius Black and those feelings felt a lot like love.

_How can I go from having a wet dream about my best friend to falling for him all in a matter of days?_

Sirius had always been very special to him. He knew he had been the first to figure out his _furry little problem_. He knew it was his idea to become animagi so Remus wouldn't be alone. He knew there was a reason why Sirius had chosen a dog as his second form, the closest in species to Remus' wolf. Basically, Sirius knew Remus like the back of his hand and could make him feel _safe_ and _loved_ – states that Remus had never been used to. It was scary to grow up as a werewolf and he'd felt so alone for most of his life before Hogwarts. He realised now that Sirius was his fix, the one that took him away from these feelings and he had come to rely on him more than was healthy.

The thing was, Remus knew that Sirius needed him too. They had often talked into the night, sitting in bed together, and only Remus knew the deep hurt that Sirius felt after being abandoned by his family. He put on a brave front around James and everybody else – but Remus knew the truth. That was how it was with the two boys; they could talk to each other about things they'd never dare say to another person. The day after their late night chats there would never be any awkwardness and they would act like it never happened. It was like they were different people in the dead of night, but the relationship between them was there day and night even if neither voiced it.

Remus' neck gave a loud pre-transformation as he turned to look out the window. The sun was setting and the moon was in the sky. It was nearly full and Remus knew that this month's transformation would be on Tuesday night. He sighed as the familiar feeling of dread sank in – he never did get used to the pain of transforming. The quidditch pitch was also visible from the window and Remus could see the Gryffindor team practicing.

_So that's where they are_, he thought – or more precisely – _that's where Sirius is_.

He watched them for about ten minutes, and then sighed as he saw the players land and dismount their brooms and he took a deep breath for confidence as he realised that his dorm-mates would be back soon.

Half an hour later, James and Peter entered, with no signs of the fourth counterpart.

"Where's Sirius?" Remus asked immediately, sparking raised eyebrows and confused looks from his friends.

"I thought you weren't speaking to him?" Peter hedged tentatively.

Remus shrugged it off. "I know how he can be."

In truth, the comment last night had hurt Remus more than any transformation and had sunk deeper into his heart than any of the raised scars that littered his skinny body. What Sirius had said showed Remus that he would never have a chance with the pure-blood, as he made clear his feelings towards ... Remus' type of feelings.

"He's gone to have a drink with some of the other lads..."

Remus tried to hide his disappointment; he had hoped the two could have a heart-to-heart but he knew what Sirius was like when he was drunk. Sirius turned into a soppy, over-tactile puppy when a drop of alcohol passed his lips and this behaviour was usually aimed at Remus – a result, no doubt, of the two boys' close relationship. "Oh." Was all he said, but he knew there was no point in trying to sleep as he would no doubt be woken up by the animagus when he traipsed in a few hours later...

****

It was three am and Remus' eyelids drooped. He had sat awaiting Sirius' arrival for hours now and was finally beginning to give up on his book as sleep attempted to envelop him.

With a sigh, Remus extinguished his wand light and rested his head on the pillow, just as his eyes begin to close the door slammed open with an almighty crash.

"Oh shit," he heard Sirius' slurred voice curse, but there was no reason for it as their roommates could sleep through anything. The snores from the other beds continued without interruption.

Remus peeked through the gap in the drapes and watched as Sirius shook himself clumsily out of his quidditch robes without his usual grace until he had stripped down to just his boxers.

_Maybe he won't bother me tonight_, Remus thought without conviction and his doubts were realised as Sirius crooned,

"Moo-oony."

"All right Pads," Remus whispered from the darkness. Sirius crawled into bed next to him as usual.

"Moony, I'm sorry," Sirius slurred, wrapping both his arms and one of his legs around the lycanthrope. Remus didn't answer as he breathed in the scent of _Sirius_ beneath the scent of Firewhisky and his heart rate began to increase. "I didn't mean it, Moony."

"I know, Sirius."

"Moony?"

"Yes, Padfoot?"

"My muscles hurt."

"Oh?"

"Will you ... rub them for me?"

"Er..."

"Pretty please with a cherry on top?"

"Oh, all right."

The two boys sat up and Remus could just see Sirius' muscular silhouette by the light of the moon. Swallowing his nerves, he placed his palms flat on Sirius' shoulder blades and immediately felt the stiff muscles there relax. Sirius moaned appreciatively. With that delicious sound for encouragement, Remus roamed his fingers all over Sirius' back, pressing pressure points and rubbing out strains until the animagus was a melted heap in his arms. Sirius leant back into Remus until his head was tucked under the werewolf's chin and he smiled a wide, contented smile at his friend.

"Love you Moony,"

Remus gave a muttered reply that sounded a bit like "you too" and then shook Sirius off to lay his head on the pillow. Shortly afterward, Sirius followed suit, wrapping himself around Remus once more and resting his head on the pillow so their noses were inches apart.

"What did you say Moony?"

"I said..." Remus tried, he really did, to follow Lily's advice, but he chickened out. "Nothing, Pads."

"Oh, OK," Sirius said with a hint of disappointment. There was silence for a few seconds, then, "because I thought you might have said that you love me too."

"Sirius," Remus breathed, his eyes had adjusted to the darkness and he could see the other boy's wide eyes staring at him. "I do love you, the same way you love me."

"That's good then," Sirius tone was so utterly adorable that Remus giggled – stopping in surprise when he felt the other boy's soft lips on his own, but he didn't pull away. The kiss was brief; their lips brushing lightly before Sirius gave a satisfied sigh and promptly fell asleep – leaving Remus awake in the darkness, his heart racing.

**A/N: So there are the first few chapters – hope you enjoy. Got a few favourites but no-one's given any feedback so I'd love to hear from you all Got some lovely ideas to come, just a quick warning – this will start to get mature, the rating is there for a reason. R&R thank you people!**


	6. Forgotten?

**A/N: So I'm sure you've noticed I've been alternating POV between our two favourite pups, however I couldn't think of how to do this chapter effectively from Sirius' POV so you've got a double-Remus (yippee) chapter. If you like I can make up for it with two Sirius chappies or maybe even another character? Let me know and if I don't get any inspiration I'll make up my own mind (not a threat tehe). On with the chappie and enjoy!**

Forgotten?

Remus woke up to the alarm alone the next morning, and when he switched it off he could hear the sound of the shower running. On the regular occasion that Sirius would fall asleep in Remus' bed, and vice versa, one or the other would always wake up to the familiar sound – it was only these mornings which Sirius surfaced before the alarm. There was an unspoken rule between them that they would never actually wake up together. This was the barrier between their regular friendship during daylight, and the deeper trust they shared after dark.

Today was no different, except for the fact that last night he and Sirius had kissed.

_Now I'm too far gone,_ Remus whimpered in thought. He knew he had to sort this out or his friendship with the other boy would be doomed – and he wouldn't be able to cope. Romantic feelings aside, he needed Sirius' ears as they were the only ones he would trust with his deepest, darkest secrets. Plus, he also knew that Sirius would fall to pieces without him, he was unable to cope with the stress of being from the Noble House of Black, without the werewolf's support.

Remus swung his legs over the edge of his bed and went to wake up James and Peter. They each just grumbled and rolled over in turn but he knew they would get up in a few minutes. He made his way to the bathroom door and knocked tentatively when he heard the shower stop running.

"Come in!" he heard the grumbled invitation, and accepted it, opening the door and entering the bathroom. He carefully closed the door behind him.

"How you feeling?" he asked a rough-looking Sirius, good-naturedly.

"Meh," Sirius muttered, towel drying his hair. Remus took the chance while his eyes were averted to rake his gaze over Sirius' well-defined chest and muscular stomach. Remus didn't want to ask him if he remembered last night, they usually didn't broach the subject of their late night chats, or in this case kisses.

"Did you ... have fun last night?" he asked cautiously, knowing that if Sirius did indeed remember their kiss he would know what he meant – and if he didn't he would assume he meant going out drinking with the team.

Sirius hesitated, and Remus could have sworn he saw a hint of pink colour his cheeks before he turned around and began brushing his teeth. "Yeah," he mumbled through his foamy teeth, "the usual, got drunk, had a laugh, came back..." he trailed off.

"Yeah." Remus didn't push the subject, he was almost certain that Sirius didn't remember. Sirius wasn't the sort of person to keep things quiet and he would let Remus know if he remembered something as big as a kiss between the pair.

_Then again_, Remus thought. _Maybe he doesn't see it as big, just a drunken mistake. Maybe I'm the only one who wants to make a big deal of it because I enjoyed it so much._ His cheeks also coloured as he admitted yet another strange fact to himself. _I wanted it._

Another thought struck him then – maybe this kind of talk was, for want of a better phrase, bed talk. If Sirius wanted to talk about a topic this personal he would bring it up during a late night talk. Remus would have to wait and see what the night would bring...

(Page break – **A/N I have been putting page breaks in but they delete them when I upload – sorry if any time lapses have made previous chapters hard to understand and please someone recommend to me a better way that actually works. Thanks!)**

Sirius did not enter Remus' bunk on Monday night, and their friendship seemed to have returned to normal. On Tuesday evening, the four marauders met just out of reach of the Whomping Willow's angry branches.

"Go ahead, Pete," James whispered, looking cautiously at the sky as he could see the glow of the moon behind a big cloud. Remus whimpered in pain as his body reacted. Out of sight of James and Peter, Sirius gave Remus' hand a comforting squeeze before transforming into Padfoot and giving his fingers a courage-inducing lick. Remus smiled down at him appreciatively.

Peter Pettigrew changed into his rat form and scurried over to the knot in the roots that calmed the tree enough for the other three to enter. Peter and Sirius trotted casually down the tunnel in their animal forms, whilst James stayed in his human form for company. Remus' bones creaked and his muscles twitched every now and then and James looked on sympathetically.

When they reached the Shrieking Shack, James also took on his animal form, leaving Remus alone as a shivering, whimpering human. He sat on the floor and waited for the transformation to occur, it wasn't long coming now, and Sirius padded over to him, laying his furry muzzle on his lap. He stroked the black dog's head absent-mindedly and listened to the sounds of content that the movements drew from his friend. Then, the moonlight shone through the cracks in the shuttered windows and Remus felt nothing but pain until all went black.

(Page break)

Remus' eyelids turned red as the sunlight streamed through the window and woke him from a coma-like sleep. He groaned as the pain enveloped him and kept his eyes shut – he didn't want to see the new damage. He wasn't particularly surprised to feel a rough tongue glide over his cheek in an attempt to wake him up. At this, he did open his eyes and stared into the grey eyes that didn't change from boy to dog.

"Hey Pads," he croaked. He was lying on the floor, naked body covered by only a sheet and he suddenly felt very exposed – though Sirius had seen him like this many times before. The pure-blood was often the one to stay with him while they awaited the arrival of Madam Pomfrey; she'd be here in about ten minutes. Sirius transformed back into Sirius and smiled down at the vulnerable-looking werewolf.

"Good morning, stranger," he grinned. If anything, Sirius being human made Remus more self-conscious and he sat up and attempted to cover more of himself with the thin sheet. Sirius seemed to understand immediately and averted his gaze from his friend. "Want me to get your clothes?"

Remus nodded, and his back cracked loudly.

"Ouch," Sirius said with a grimace. "Are your muscles sore, too?"

"Yeah," Remus muttered, and then winced as he stretched said muscles.

"Want me to rub them better? Return the favour?"

Remus froze and Sirius' face dropped as he realised he'd just revealed the truth about how much he remembered of Sunday night. Tension hung thick in the air for a few minutes, neither boy knowing what to do or what to say. Sirius handed Remus his clothes without making eye contact and then turned his back to allow Remus some privacy getting changed. The only sounds breaking the intense silence were heavy breathing and loud complaint from Remus' body as he shifted his limbs into his clothes.

Eventually, Madam Pomfrey's welcome footsteps were heard coming up the stairs.

"Are you decent Remus?" she called.

"Yes," Remus croaked in reply.

As Sirius shifted past her in effort to leave, he turned – as if reluctant – back to Remus and promised him, "We'll talk tonight."


	7. Promises

Promises

"Night," mumbled James and his sleepy words were echoed three times before he extinguished his wand light, the only light left in the room.

Five minutes later, soft snores were emanating from the beds to Sirius' right but his ears were tuned in to the deafening silence coming from the one on his right. He knew Remus was awake. He had promised him they would talk tonight. Sirius knew that it would hurt Remus if he let him down, just like he had let him down before, last year, when he had played that stupid trick on Snape that almost cost him one of his most important friendships. In fact, since then, Sirius made a conscious effort never to betray Remus again – he kept every promise, every secret and he never, ever lied to him. Still, he felt guilty, despite Remus forgiving him, (far earlier than he deserved, he thought and he knew James agreed with him). Remus had asked Sirius not to accompany him the moon following the _incident_ and Sirius had never felt so heartbroken. Of course, he deserved it and he took no pleasure out of the fact that his absence caused Moony to almost rip himself to shreds, including the scar on his cheek that barely missed those beautiful blue eyes.

_Beautiful? Did I just think Remus was beautiful?_ _No just his eyes, just his eyes... _ He silently reassured himself. Now, he had to summon some of his Gryffindor courage and go and speak to that beautiful,_ what...?_, boy. But what would he say? Tell him it was a mistake. I mean, it obviously was. Both he and Remus liked girls, he thought. Come to think of it, Sirius hadn't actually noticed Remus liking anyone. He never really joined in he and James' conversations, always listened on the edge yet with an air of maturity – lacked by Wormtail – that Sirius had taken to mean that he had experienced similar yet was too noble to talk about it. Which, Sirius mused, is exactly what Remus would do if he _did_ have an indiscretion with a girl. However, he would probably behave the same way if he had never even seen one. Remus was very good at hiding his feelings, not usually from Sirius – but this one seemed to have slipped past him.  
>Sirius' legs swung over the bed and his feet slapped the cold, hard floor with a tiny sound. Still he knew Remus would hear it, yet still no sound emitted from behind the curtains. Now Sirius had a conversation starter he was ready to begin the conversation he had promised...<p>

"Remus?" he whispered, edging the curtain back a little.

No answer.

"_Lumos"_ he held his wand up to Remus pillow and saw the werewolf shielding his eyes from the blinding glare with hand – which, Sirius noticed, was quite big and had long, slender fingers. _What is going on in my head, tonight?_

"_Padfoot, please."_ Remus whispered urgently as he felt his retinas burning. Sirius lowered his wand so the light was no longer in his friend's face. Remus lifted up the cover and Sirius accepted the invitation, his toes felt like they were about to fall off and he curled up as close was comfortable to Remus' body heat.

They sat in silence for a few seconds, and then both started talking at once.

"Remus have you ever been with a girl?"

"Sirius I – _what?"_

"I said ha-"

"I know what you said. I just didn't expect ... that we would be talking about that. Remus shuffled uncomfortably under Sirius' gaze, which made him think this conversation would be easier in the dark. He extinguished his wand.

"Well have you?"

"I, er..."

"You can tell me Remus. I won't tell anyone, and I won't judge you."

"Well, no I haven't." Sirius could almost feel the heat as Remus cheeks filled with hot blood.

"Oh, well that's okay, you know I was just –"

"Have you ever kissed a _boy_?"

Sirius spluttered on his words. Then, he laughed. "Touché, Moons, touché..."

"You didn't answer my question." Sirius could hear the smile in Remus' voice.

"Do you mean including you, or not?" Sirius cringed as he couldn't think of a better way to say it.

Remus thought for a moment. "Not."

"Well then, no. My turn to ask a question!" Sirius smiled. As usual, the pair worked together to turn a potentially awkward conversation into a game – they made the perfect team.

"All right, go on then." Remus agreed reluctantly, knowing it would be easier than just outright talking about it. "Who was in your dream that night I caught you sneaking –"

"All right I know which night!" Remus interrupted sounding horrified. "I don't really want to say Pads..."

"Well was it a boy or a girl."

"Why do you get a second question?"

"Because you didn't answer the first one."

"But... fine. It was a boy. My turn, hmm..."

"Really? And it had _that_ effect on you?"

"Sirius..."

"Do you think you might be g-"

"Sirius!"

"Sorry. OK you ask me a question Moony."

"Okay. What's it like to kiss a girl?"

"Um, well it's hard to describe. I guess it would be no different to kissing a boy..."

"Well I've already done that," Remus chuckled half-heartedly.

"With me? Or... not?"

"Not," Remus admitted, obviously embarrassed by his lack of experience.

"That wasn't _really_ kissing, actually Remus. That was just a peck."

"So I haven't even done that," Remus sighed.

"Well, do you want to? Just to see what it feels like, I mean. Wouldn't want you to turn 17 a kiss-virgin or anything..." Sirius babbled, realising that he actually wanted to kiss Remus. Quite a lot.

"Well, okay," Remus agreed, though he sounded apprehensive. Sirius leaned in, but when he was close enough to feel Remus' breath on his cheek the lycanthrope cried out, "wait!"

"What?" Sirius asked, his breathing getting deeper and faster, which he realised was an effect of his proximity to Remus.

"How do you do it?" Remus cringed, not wanting to sound stupid.

"You just sort of, do it. Here, just follow my lead." With that, Sirius pressed his lips to Remus once more, giving him no time to deliberate and over-analyse like he always did. Their mouths stayed still on each other for a few seconds, until Sirius realised he was supposed to be leading conducting the kiss – he had been distracted by the effect that this simple touch had on his body; no girl had ever affected him this quickly. So, he parted his lips slightly and licked teasingly over the gap between Remus' until they allowed his tongue entry. Remus was very quiet during all of this but his breathing was coming out short and shallow, getting even more ragged as Sirius tongue glided over his own. Sirius would have thought the other boys' reaction was exaggerated, if he hadn't been experiencing the same overload of feelings himself. The kiss heated up and Remus soon go into it – _good for a beginner_, Sirius thought happily – and soon their tongues were battling for dominance. Sirius' hand snaked under Remus shirt, feeling his jutting ribs and puckered scars which made the sensation even more incredible. Remus hand slid up Sirius neck and then thumbed his cheek and only with this caring gesture did Sirius come to his senses. Tongues and hands stilled, though their pants continued, slowing until they were breathing almost normally. Their lips remained pressed together, slightly parted and their hands remained on each other's bodies.

"Oh," Remus spoke first, and then rolled onto his back, gently releasing Sirius' face.

"Mm," Sirius responded, unsure of what that "oh" meant. Was it an "oh my god that was totally thrilling and now I am immensely horny oh"?, or an "oh, that's what a kiss is like" or an "oh that was awful"? Sirius doubted the last one, and not because he thought himself to be an excellent kisser who could immediately make anyone want to shag him silly, be it a girl, boy or a hippogriff – though he _did_ think he was an excellent kisser who could make anyone want to shag him, be it girl, boy or a hippogriff – no, he could tell Remus was having the same kind of sensory overload that he was subjected to and he could also tell that Remus wanted to admit to it about as much as Sirius did.

"Well there you go."

"Yeah, um, thanks Padfoot."

"No problem. Now you know what it's like."

"Is that what it's always like?"

"Isn't it my turn to ask a question?"

"Sirius! Oh, fine."

"Did you, er, feel anything?"

"Like what."

"You know what."

"Erm... No?" Remus replied unconvincingly after a long moment's hesitation.

"Me neither," Sirius responded automatically – he felt it was all right to lie to Remus if he'd told the same lie to him first.

"I didn't ask," Remus reminded him, a drop of hurt in his tone. "So, _is_ that what it's always like?"

"No, no it's not." Sirius said, letting out a large sigh as he did so.

"Oh, I suppose it's better with girls."

"What? Oh yeah, yeah. Girls. Great kissers, girls..." Sirius mumbled distractedly and then yawned. "One last question, Rem, do you think you might be... you know. Attracted to boys – as well as girls?" he added quickly.

"Would you hate me if I was?"

"You don't get another question until you answer one."

"Okay... I honestly don't know Padfoot. And that's the truth."

"I believe you, Moony," Sirius yawned again. "I trust you."

"Thanks Pads. Means a lot."

"Oh and Moony?"

"Yes Padfoot?"

"There is nothing on this Earth, no possible eventuality, that could make _me_ hate _you_."

**A/N: OMG I AM SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG. INCREDIBLE LONG. MONTHS. (Note to self: do not remind readers of actually how long you have been a bitch by not updating.) But seriously, I am so sorry. And thank you! For all the reviews they were all lovely to read. I have been doing lots of exams but they are finished now so hopefully I will update more. I also had a Sirius (tehe) mind block and couldn't think of anything to write! Please forgive me I am a rubbish writer in terms of sometimes I just stop halfway through but I love Remus and Sirius and I don't think I could leave this one. At least, I hope not. I don't want to let myself down , or you. But thank you SO MUCH for reading and waiting and pleeease review, even though I don't deserve it because I really enjoyed writing this chapter and have been mulling it over in my head for a while – I really wanted to get it perfect so please let me know how I did! Thank you, thank you, thank you! You are all wonderful and I hope to reward you with some Sirius (tehe) puppy-living in near-future chappies! May Merlin bless all of your pants!**


	8. Confessions

**A/N: very sorry for this mishap – accidentally uploaded the wrong chapter earlier, it was from my other story! Here it is now though! And I'm posting the next one as well – to make up for it! Enjoy!**

Confessions

Sirius Black awoke very early, as he always did when in the bed of Remus Lupin. He believed it was some kind of natural instinct as he wouldn't like to get caught in bed with another boy, even by the other boy himself. What would his parents think?

_Who cares?_ He thought angrily, but of course – as Remus always said – he did care. And he hated himself for it. His parents were racist, homophobic, half-blood-hating bigots and he wasn't like that at all. At least, that's what Remus insisted, but as he climbed carefully out of bed he felt sick in himself as realised he was hiding even this completely innocent act.

_I didn't even do anything_, he comforted himself, but as his tongue swiped out over his dry lips to wet them the flavour lingering there reminded him that he wasn't as innocent as he was on other occasions he found himself in his best friend's bed in the morning. However, as he looked down at the peaceful, slumbering boy below him he didn't feel dirty or ashamed or any of those emotions his parents would associate with the act he was guilty of. Even 'guilty' was too strong a word. The feelings that kiss had given him were definitely not innocent, but Sirius didn't feel bad about them – especially now those feelings started to return. Sirius' lower body stirred and he hastily ran for the bathroom, lest his friend wake up with a towering erection above him which Sirius was sure would scare the shit out of him.

Hot water beat down on Sirius' back, and still he couldn't get the memory of that kiss out of his head. In fact, he thought about it more and more until his cock was aching at Sirius' involuntary wonderings of where another kiss like that could take them. Feeling as though he had nothing to lose, Sirius wrapped his hand around his swelling member and some of the tension was immediately relieved. He began stroking with increasing speed, letting out moans and groans here and there, until finally,

"_Remus_," he hissed as he rode out his orgasm, spilling his seed all over his hand.

Then, there was a knock on the door.

"Padfoot?" came Remus' cautious, quiet voice.

"Yes?" Sirius gasped, trying in vain to sound as though he hadn't had one of the most intense orgasms he'd had in a long time.

"Are you all right? Did you call me?" Remus asked.

"Er, no. No I didn't. Don't worry."

"Oh. Okay. Hurry up in there will you?"

"Yeah, I'll be out in a minute, mate." Sirius said, his knees still shaking slightly.

Ten minutes later, Sirius was leaving the bathroom with a towel wrapped carelessly round his waist. Remus was sitting on the bed; he seemed to be deep in thought.

"You all right, Moons?" asked Sirius cheerfully. Remus looked up in surprise and Sirius couldn't help but notice how his gaze raked over his own bare, chiselled chest before their gazes met.

"Don't call me that, Padfoot," Remus almost whispered.

"Are you okay, Remus?" Sirius asked, taking a seat next to his nervous-looking friend.

"Fine." Remus responded immediately.

"You don't _look_ fine."

"You do."

"Why thank you," Sirius replied, egotistically.

"That's not what I meant!" cried Remus, looking slightly alarmed.

"Hey, calm down, mate, I was only joking. What's worrying you."

"I lied."

"No! The perfect, prefect, I-can-do-no-wrong Remus Lupin is guilty of breaking a commandment!"

"Shut up, Pads," Remus gave him a playful shove, but Sirius was more interested in the smile he had earned.

"That's better. Now, do you want to tell me what you lied about?"

"Not really."

"But you're going to anyway."

"You know me almost as well as I know you Pads."

"Almost!" Sirius cried in outrage. Remus chuckled and the sound made Sirius grin fade immediately as he realised the intense beauty of it. _What is wrong with me?_ He shook his head, drips of water going everywhere and turned back to Remus, who had once again fallen silent. "Well, what did you lie about? Tell Father Sirius, I will help you repent of your sins."

"Be serious, Sirius."

"I-"

"_Don't_ say you are Sirius."

"I... wasn't going to." Sirius argued defiantly.

"Whatever."

"Will you just get to the point already? I'm getting cold and it's almost time for breakfast!"

"Fine. I lied. I lied when... When I told you that I didn't... Um..."

"Didn't..."

"That I didn't feel anything. When you kissed me." Remus shut his eyes tight and his cheeks reddened. Sirius leaned in until his lips were just touching the other boy's ear.

"Me too," he whispered, and Remus shivered. They didn't get to continue their conversation, however, as James and Peter began to stir and Sirius jumped away from Remus as though he'd suddenly caught fire.


	9. Ideas

Ideas

Remus headed for the bathroom and managed to close and lock the door before James' eyes fully opened. He felt a little guilty about leaving Sirius to explain why he was sitting, half naked, on Remus' bed... But not really guilty.

Hoping Sirius hadn't used all the hot water washing his hair, he ran the taps and felt the temperature of the water. Then, deciding that it was hot enough, he stripped off his clothes. As he was about to step under the steamy spray he caught sight of himself in the mirror, and turned around to get a better look.

Remus John Lupin had sandy blond hair that fell around his eyes and ears without any style. Still it was neat and tidy, when it was washed and brushed as it usually was every morning – without the obsession that Sirius included when maintaining his silky locks. Remus looked at his face and decided he wasn't really ugly, just plain, except for that horrible scar on his cheek. But it was nothing compared to those that littered his skinny, pale body. It hadn't been long since the last full moon and so Remus still had healing cuts and bruises covering every inch of his ruined body. There was no wonder no-one had ever kissed him before, no-one had ever wanted him, because he was _hideous_. His face was plain and boring, not attracting enough attention for anyone to have seen underneath them. Only his fellow Marauders had seen his body, and Madam Pomfrey, of course. He hadn't cared before, they wouldn't judge him – but now he felt very self-conscious as he remembered Sirius' fleeting touches on his abdomen just last night. Thinking of Sirius made said skinny, pale body react almost immediately. Perfect, perfect Sirius with his silky hair and beautiful eyes and oh-so-soft lips. Remus looked down at himself.

_Yeah, definitely not helping_.

Whatever was going on between them couldn't go further, Remus couldn't bear to have Sirius see his mangled body, not now his feelings for the other boy had escalated into something that felt very non-friendly. Despite his obvious crush, Remus still couldn't bring himself to label himself 'gay'. _I'm already a freak. I don't need to be any more_ _abnormal._

He thought of Lily Evans then, who had insisted it was normal, and felt slightly comforted, but also irritated that his penis drooped noticeably just at the thought of his very female friend. Not that he had ever had any sexual feelings about her before. He'd never thought about sex with anyone, until now. _Oh, there it is back_. He groaned inwardly as his nether regions reacted strongly to a fleeting thought of sex with Sirius Black.

SBRL

"Pete, you just went before breakfast."

"But, Prongs, I'm _desperate_!" Pete wobbled from side to side.

"You, my friend, have the bladder the size of a pea."

"Maybe his bladder hasn't transformed back from Wormtail." Sirius suggested, grinning. "_Or maybe_ he's pregnant. Something you want to tell us Pete? Met some sexy rats in the kitchens lately?"

"Stop teasing and let's go to the toilet already." Remus almost begged. He was bored of wandering around the halls and would rather be in the common room, reading by the window on this sunny Saturday morning.

"You want to go with Wormy to the bathroom Moony?" James wiggled his eyebrows suggestively, but stopped when Remus turned Pink.

"No, I just-"

"I'm gonna wet myself!" Pete almost shrieked and ducked into the nearest bathroom. The other three followed more slowly and were surprised to see Pete frozen solid outside one of the cubicles, full bladder forgotten. He beckoned them over and warned them to be silent by placing a finger to his lips. A loud groan emanated from the cubicle.

James and Sirius looked at each other, identical wicked grins spreading across their faces. James cast a silent 'Alohamora' and Sirius kicked the door open with a shout of 'Aha!'. The wicked expressions faded when their eyes laid on the two _boys_ who were half-naked in the cubicle, hands still wrapped around each other's stiff cocks, looking extremely surprised and embarrassed, though Remus was sure the colour in their faces wasn't only to do with the humiliation of getting caught as he thought of how his own face reddened when thinking of Sirius in the bathroom this morning.

"Oh my..."

"Ever heard of knocking?" one of the boys, a Ravenclaw Remus recognised as Rory Baxter from his Arithmancy class.

"Ever heard of not wanking off other boys in the toilet?" James retaliated, some colour returning to his own face as he got over the initial shock.

"Fair play," replied Rory as he pulled his trousers up, while his partner, who Remus didn't recognise, did the same.

"What is going on between you too? I thought you had a girlfriend, Rory?"

"Nothing's going on, James. It's just experimentation, you know, helping each other out when you're not getting any from your girl. I'm surprised none of you have ever done it to be honest, though I'm pretty sure one of you must be gay anyway." He eyed Remus suspiciously and he dropped his gaze.

James and Rory seemed to be the only two who could speak. Peter looked close to tears whilst Sirius' eyes twinkled with something Remus recognised as the beginnings of an idea.

_Oh no_.

SBRL

'Oh no' was right, as Remus discovered that evening when he was alone in the dormitory and Sirius prowled in, looking mischievous. He pounced on the bed making Remus bounce and his book fly out of his hand.

"Oh, Pads, you made me lose my page," he complained, trying to pretend he cared more than he did about the abandoned book when his extremely sexy best friend was lying next to him on his bed.

Sirius completely ignored him. "So what do you think of what Rory was saying today in the toilet, Rem?" he asked, getting straight to the point.

"Er, well... I guess it makes some kind of sense. If you're a sex-crazed animal, that is. Why?" he added, dreading the answer but wanting it all the same.

"Just thinking about it. I think it makes sense, too. Does that make me a sex-crazed animal?" Sirius chuckled.

"You _are_ a sex-crazed animal. But you're getting all the sex an animal could need, I don't doubt." Remus said, painful though the words were.

"Meh. I'm going through a bit of a dry spell, I suppose," Sirius winked invitingly at Remus. Remus swallowed nervously.

"Didn't you, er, have that date last week?" Remus gulped again, as Sirius edged closer and closer.

"What with Lucy? I think that was her name... Well, she was a bit boring. _I _want to try something new," he announced. "I like a challenge."

With that, Sirius lips were on his again and Remus let out a moan that felt like it had been trying to escape all day. Sirius pulled back and Remus gasped as though his supply of oxygen had been removed with Sirius' lips.

"Wow that was pretty intense." Sirius giggled. "Who's the sex-crazed animal now?"

Remus smiled sarcastically and took a few deep breaths to calm himself down; his body already felt like it was on overdrive from one tiny peck.

"Sirius, I don't want to be an experiment. I don't want to be one of your... girls, for want of a better word." He rolled his eyes at his own badly chosen words, but Sirius was listening intently and didn't say anything. "I don't want you to drop me and forget my name."

"Remus, that would never happen. Those girls mean nothing. _You're_ different." Sirius insisted.

"Because I'm a boy?"

"Because you're _Remus_."

"So, you actually like me? This isn't just an experiment?" Remus' doubt was laced through his tone.

Sirius looked thoughtful for a moment.

"I think, at the moment, it's somewhere in between. I feel like I want this and I want to try it and see. And I _know_ you want it." Sirius' eyed the evident bulge at the front of Remus' trousers.

"And if you don't like it? This could fuck up our friendship Sirius!"

Sirius' eyes widened. "Wow."

"What?"

"Hearing you use the word 'fuck'. Makes me want to..."

"Stop trying to distract me."

"I'm serious."

"I _know_ you're Sirius," Remus replied, unable to resist using Sirius' favourite joke against him. "Which is why I know you're trying to distract me. To make you do what you want. I'm not falling for it."

"Like I said, I like a challenge..." Sirius retreated slowly out of the bed as they heard James and Peter chasing each other up the stairs. "I'll see you tonight, Moony baby."

With that, his handsome face disappeared with a wink and Remus, despite himself, was left wanting more.

**A/N: ok so I feel bad leaving it on a cliffie, but you deserve it for not reviewing! Just kidding, I love you all and you are wonderful. Thank you for all the favourite story/author adds and alerts, too. Pleeeeease review my pretties and also check out my other RemusXSirius fic, it's much more developed, ahem, sexually than this one so if that's what your waiting for – get a little taste and let me know what my smut is like as hopefully it's coming up soon in this one.**


	10. Embrace

Embrace

Sirius lay awake in the dark, wondering if he had given Remus enough incitement to do the same. Remus was a peaceful and (unlike their other room-mates) _silent_ sleeper, so it was impossible to tell whether he was asleep or thinking quietly to himself, as he often did and as Sirius was doing now.

_One way to find out_, Sirius thought, his heart – as well as other regions – swelling slightly with anticipation. He climbed out of bed and tiptoed across the dorm, knowing his attempts at stealth were futile as Remus always knew when he was coming no matter how silent he was. He peeked through the curtains.

Remus was staring wide-eyed up at him, several emotions flicking across his eyes so fast Sirius nearly couldn't quite read them – nearly.

_Trepidation. Anticipation. Nervousness. Arousal..._

"Hi Pads," Remus mumbled, sliding over and lifting the cover up for Sirius who was shivering in his current shirtless state. Sirius' arousal grew as he watched Remus' eyes roam over his scantily-clad body – from his bare, built chest to slightly-tenting boxers to hair-sprinkled, muscled legs – with what could only be approval.

"I won't bite you know," Sirius joked, earning a weak smile from Remus. "Seriously, I wouldn't ever hurt you, Remus."

"I know," Remus assured him, "that you wouldn't hurt me on purpose."

Sirius was speechless for a second then promised, "I'll do my best not to hurt you by accident either."

"Okay."

Sirius trembled, despite being engulfed by Remus' thick bedclothes.

"Come here, Padfoot, you're freezing." Remus tugged Sirius' wrist, and Sirius didn't need any more encouragement to snuggle up to Remus' warmth. He pressed his body up against the other boys', which was covered by a soft white t-shirt and thin pyjama bottoms, and hooked his arms under Remus', gently pushing one leg between his two skinnier ones.

Remus' breath caught but he didn't push him away, instead he wrapped his own limbs around Sirius until there wasn't a hair's breadth between them. Both boys looked at each other in slight awkwardness before Sirius smirked – causing Remus to snigger, too, and the thick atmosphere dissipated in mutual mirth.

"So...?" Sirius said, moving – if it was possible – even closer.

"So," Remus replied, a small smile playing on those soft, smooth lips. Sirius licked his lips. He was more aroused than ever but also extremely glad that Remus didn't seem so nervous anymore and he didn't want to ruin the new-found comfort of the moment. So, acting quite out of character, he decided not to make the first move. However, this didn't mean he wasn't going to do his bit to encourage Remus to kick things off. He nuzzled Remus' with his own, and delighted in the fact that this action caused Remus' eyes to flutter shut and he slowly changed the angle of his head so as to allow for Remus' lips to press gently against his as he leaned closer. Sirius heard a deep guttural groan rip through the air and was shocked when he realised it was he who had made the sound. What surprised him even more was Remus' reaction to it as he rolled on top of Sirius, deepening the kiss as he did.

Remus' tongue probed every corner of his mouth and Sirius could hardly move with the sheer _pleasure_ of it.

A dart of desire shot through every one of his veins as he felt Remus grinding up against the he's previously slotted underneath the other boy's crotch.

"Oh, gods," he whispered and shifted slightly so, instead of his leg, Remus' crotch met his own and they both cried out as their erections slid over each other.

"_Sirius,_" Remus hissed as he scrambled under his pillow for his wand and muttered, with difficulty, a Silencing Charm.

"Oh, Remus, oh _gods_."

"Yes, yes, I know. _Merlin_."

Both boys' continued mutters became nonsensical after that as each of them came closer to the edge.

"Sirius, Sirius. _Shit_. Sirius I'm going to, uh, I'm – _oh_," Remus' eyes closed and his mouth stayed in a little 'o' position as he silently rode out his orgasm. Watching him sent another jolt of lust through Sirius and he bucked is hips up into Remus once, twice, then –

"_Oh, Moo-oony," _he moaned, dragging out the affectionate nickname that had never been used in such an intimate circumstance before.

Their breathing gradually slowed as their thrusting came to an eventual halt.

"Oh. My. God." Sirius mumbled into Remus shoulder.

"Mm," was his only response.

"I can't believe we just-"

"I know."

"And it was _so..."_

"Yeah."

"Remus?"

"Yeah?"

"You know, you're a lot heavier than you look."

Remus took the hint and rolled off him. Sirius watched him as he stared at the ceiling, blowing his fringe, damp with sweat, out of his eyes.

"Are you okay, Remus?"

"Very okay." Remus replied immediately, though he didn't look okay.

"So why-"

"Because I'm trying to work out how to save our friendship after this."

"Remus there's nothing that needs saving!"

"It's going to be all..."

"Nothing. It's going to be exactly the same."

"I..." Remus thought for a moment, looking as though he doubted it very much. "I hope so Sirius."

**A/N: so there you go, a little bit of sexual content, yippee! Erm, I wasn't so sure about this chapter but I really wanted to progress with the story. I think it's all right... Please let me know – I know this is a blatant plead for reviews but I am genuinely uncertain about how well this is written. Hints for improvement would be gratefully accepted too!**


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